You Can't Learn What You Think You Already Know

Do you ever wonder how many times you’re going to have to "learn" the same things over and over again? I often do. Here's an example from earlier this week: I overreacted to a situation—really overreacted. I was immediately flooded with emotion and felt an overwhelming need to shout about why I was right and why they were wrong. Even though I understand what emotional intelligence is, in that moment, I was the opposite—completely emotionally reactive.

I’m not sharing this to brag about my inappropriate and unhelpful response to the situation. It just continues to surprise me how often the lessons I need to learn keep repeating themselves, simply because I haven’t fully learned them yet.

You see, I’ve long been a student of emotional intelligence (EQ)—the ability to manage your emotions and understand those of others. I know the five key elements of EQ: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills.

But here’s the thing: these aren’t just five concepts. They’re skills, and like any skill, they require consistent practice to develop. Sometimes, I succeed in applying them to my life. Other times, I find myself needing a reminder that I’m on a lifelong EQ developmental journey—one called life.

I’ve come to realize that I still have so much to learn, not just from experts but from the people I encounter every day. Every interaction has the potential to teach me something new—if I’m open to learning.

This idea reminds me of a quote I’ve often seen attributed to the Stoic philosopher Epictetus: “You can’t learn what you think you already know.” It’s a powerful reminder of the importance of humility and open-mindedness in learning. When we believe we already know something, we close ourselves off to new information and perspectives. True learning requires us to question our assumptions and embrace the possibility of being wrong.

Another related quote from a book I recently read, Ego is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday, struck a similar chord: “The pretense of knowledge is our most dangerous vice, because it prevents us from getting any better.”

Both quotes challenge us to approach life with humility. When we cultivate an open mind and embrace the lessons in every moment, we allow ourselves to grow into better versions of who we are meant to be.