The Top 10 Reasons Why We Don’t Get What We Want Out of Work & Life
- We are not clear about our personal needs and values.
It takes thoughtful effort to look inward and get attuned to our own “drummer”. We spend too much of our lives in reaction to the should’s, ought’s, and have to’s imposed upon us by parents, teachers, spouses, co-workers, and bosses.
- We don’t know what’s possible.
We settle for what we can see or worse, we make assumptions about what we can’t see. We are unable or unwilling to explore possibilities for achieving fulfillment that might be beyond our life or work experience to date.
- We don’t make requests.
A truth that most of us rarely access is that once we have defined fulfillment for ourselves, the universe stands ready to support us if we would simply ask…our families…our friends…our colleagues…our workers…the community for what we want and need.
- We don’t believe we are worthy…good enough…deserving enough…etc.
For most of us, life is a competing conversation between our egos and our true Selves. Our ego uses advice from influential people in our lives and generalizations from our past experience to keep us safe and insure our survival. Unfortunately, the safe road is very often the route of the status quo and is devoid of possibility. Fulfillment involves risk and the courage to trod a path where outcomes are not predictable based upon our past experience.
- We are not open to receive what we want.
Most of us become fixated on a specific picture of what we want and worse, how it will come to us. These pictures blind us to the reality of what is occurring for us in-the-moment in our lives. The universe has its own agenda for bringing us fulfillment and we must stay conscious and present to the events and circumstances of our lives in order to receive the gifts that it offers. Have your ever spent an hour searching your home or office for eye glasses that were perched on the top of your head?
- We’re too busy.
Most of us are doing a poor job of distinguishing the urgent from the important in our lives. We fill our schedules with activities that support the agenda of others and pay little attention to what is truly fulfilling for ourselves.
- We waste our life energy.
People and circumstances that we tolerate at great personal cost consume much of the energy that we might use to create possibilities and generate results. Whether it’s a cluttered desk or a long paying customer, by not proactively tending to these situations we unconsciously consume energy that would be much better spent producing the outcomes that are important to us.
- We are unable to connect our behavior/actions with what is present in our lives.
Most of us tend to rail at people, events, or circumstances when life isn’t working according to our expectations. In the large majority of cases our lives don’t work because of something we do or believe that attracts those people, events, or circumstances to us.
- We are not honest with ourselves and others.
We often tend to forego sharing “our truth” for fear of hurting others feelings or because it seems too difficult a response in the stress of the moment. In fact, “our truth” gets expressed in other behavior that is often sensed by others and leads to outcomes that are more painful than our feelings of reluctance to “come clean” in the first place.
- We view Self-ishness as a sin rather than a virtue.
In our culture, to be branded as selfish is a serious accusation that can lead to alienation by the people in our lives. We must learn to distinguish self-absorption from Self-ishness and recognize that we have a response-ability to ourselves to make life sustaining and nurturing choices if we are to maintain a degree of physical, mental, and spiritual robustness that will give us the strength to accomplish what we are up to at work and in life.